the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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