do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
