I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
