guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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