and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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