I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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