Where is the hickey?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
