I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
