OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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