Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
