At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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