After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Randomize
