What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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