Non-Jews are for practice
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
