No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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