Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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