you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
