Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
