you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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