this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
