Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
