I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
