So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
