After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
