Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
