Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
