Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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