Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
