I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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