Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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