roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize