I think my vagina is haunted
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
