Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize