I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
