It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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