Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
