remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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