dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
