Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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