We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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