I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
