Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
The cops high fived after they tackled you
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
