He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
