Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
