We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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