Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
