Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
