Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize