Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize