saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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