He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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