we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
