We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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