that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
