you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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