yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
