Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
