sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
