I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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