If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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