god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
