On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
