Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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