My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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