I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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