I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My vagina is very pro this idea
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
