i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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