We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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