i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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